So. I hear there are two kinds of movies in the world.

-Movies where you don't know what's going to happen and you're breathless to know what's going to happen next.

-Movies where you know exactly what's going to happen, but you just don't know how it's going to get there.

Lost In Translation. It rocks my shit.

This is Victoria. She has seven teeth, can say "ducky" and locomotes with proficiency.

Time for her behind to get a job.

Oh... oh no.

*UPDATE*

I just remembered another movie shot on Guam, 1971's Noon Sunday. Bankrolled by Gordon Mailloux, the movie stars Mark Lenard, better known for his role as Spock's jungle-fever havin' pops Sarek, as a secret agent sent into a tropical communist stronghold for some reason having to do with the Cold War getting red hot and then Linda Avery gets naked.

Noon Sunday is one of those classics of inspired film incompetence that's so bad, it's good, but then rolls right back over to bad again before pulling out all the stops and ponying up the goods. This movie will fuck your shit. Unfortunately as far as I know there's only one copy in existence, belonging to Mr. Mailloux's daughter Anne Gorby. Ask her to show it to you sometime, she'll point out the scene where Gordon Mailloux pops in as Mark Lenard's stunt double in one particularly harrowing scene.

Merry Christmas y'all.

"Contra" + "Band," Get It?

A side project for the band Cinemechanica, Contraband plays the prog-rockin' soundtrack to the staple of my wasted adolescence "Contra" whilst playing the game on a projection screen in the background. I must say, them boys've got some chops.

Video here.

On a side note, did you know the Konami Code has it's own Wikipedia entry?

Are you pro-gun control but still lay awake at night in fear of ninja, zombie, or space monkey robots fueled by old people's medicine attacks? Well then "The Safe Bedside Table" may be your home security option of choice. Will you be prepared when the dark ones come for you?

PARK(ing)

"One of the more critical issues facing outdoor urban human habitat is the increasing paucity of space for humans to rest, relax, or just do nothing... Feeding the meter of a parking space enables one to rent precious downtown real estate, typically on a 1/2 hour to 2 hour basis. What is the range of possible occupancy activities for this short-term lease?"

I may not know art, but I know what I like.

Well it looks like billionaire-playboy Richard Branson has decided to build a spaceport in New Mexico. This is a small but important step towards the realization of my dreams to take the war back to the space monkeys travel to the stars and revel in God's own creation.

Latte Art

Yes Virginia, He Does Need A Girlfriend

Yes Virginia, He Does Need A Girlfriend

The Lister CS diesel. Birthed in 1929, legendary in their reliability, they will burn nearly anything- notably the waste vegetable oil that restaurants pay to get rid of. They produce something like 6 kw of power, so it's not something you'll be running the household of the future on, but definitely something to consider when I finally make that jump to go live in the woods to escape the space monkeys live in harmony with nature. Get 'em while they're hot at www.listeroid.com.

Anyone got one minute and eleven seconds they won't be needing back?

Hey! Pete Townshend Wayne has a fucking blogger account!

ihaveablogwhoknew.blogspot.com

Hey! Pete Townshend has a fucking blogger account!

www.boywhoheardmusic.blogspot.com/

The High Cost Of The American Dream

The High Cost Of The American Dream

Which is not a reference to the true cost of western materialism / consumerism / (insert)-ism.

I just paid my mortage, phone bills, auto-mo-bills and whatnot and I am b-b-b-broke.