19 December 2005


Are you pro-gun control but still lay awake at night in fear of ninja, zombie, or space monkey robots fueled by old people's medicine attacks? Well then "The Safe Bedside Table" may be your home security option of choice. Will you be prepared when the dark ones come for you?

posted by J-Syn at 4:58 PM

2 Comments:

Blogger wayne said...

Oh...my...God. That is absolutely, without a doubt, the most awesome, kick-ass thing I have ever seen in my life. You wanna be on my cool list? Give me the gift of a bedside selectable-lethality weapons system for Christmas. No moving parts once deployed. Simple, intuitive operation. A reliable, time-tested design. I consider this proof that somewhere, some company has as their CEO a ten year old kid who's afraid the alien greys or the chupacabra will come calling in the middle of the night. Sure, your bedsheet pulled over your head leaving just enough room to breath will fend off the "dark ones", but for how long? No war has ever been won on the defense. Eventually, you'll have to take the fight to THEM. The best part about it, you don't need some special license or permit to lay the smack down just like your ancient ancestors did...

P.S. What the fuck is with the space monkeys already?!?!?!?!

11:17 PM  
Blogger toni said...

That is a great idea. Unfortunately, I'd end up putting too much crap on my bedside table and hurt myself before I could hurt anyone/anything else. Damn doilies!!!

Oh wow. Wayne lives. Am I ever going to see you again before we both leave this wretched place? Army snob.

12:58 AM  

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