(at a Guns 'n Roses Tribute Band Show)

Me: I'm really digging that cute blonde-ish chick in the blue hoodie.

He: Her?  She's cute, and she's totally in your league!

Me: I KNOW!

(the end)

I've found my blogger password!!1!

Mr. Fusion!



Petrochemicals and recycling are SO 2006.

See Spot B 2 Cool 4 School



See Spot.
See Spot lie.
See Spot register his apathy towards bluegrass.

Who are you to judge, Spot?

A cute girl made incredibly hot by virtue of being IN SPACE.

Thanks ya'll.

Incontrovertible Truth

A conversation with my mom

Mom- Do you have a girlfriend?

Me- Nope.

Mom- Why? Don't you look at women?

Me- All the time.

Mom- So what's wrong?

Me- Well, I don't really like people, and I'm a little too good at being alone.

Mom- Jason, if you just beat-off, you can't make babies.

Me- ... That's true.


*for maximum effect- my mom has a japanese accent